Anybody? Anybody?

One night, during one of our daily walks, a neighbor was telling Daddy and Mama about how Doxie, their golden retriever, ate some food off their coffee table earlier that day. His daughter had left some churro from Taco Bell on the coffee table.

Doxie gave two barks — “anybody? anybody?”

When no one replied, Doxie ate the churro off the coffee table.

After hearing the story, Mama and Daddy laughed about it. But they also felt good about themselves because they thought that they were good parents since I haven’t eaten anything inappropriate in the house. At the time, Mama and Daddy couldn’t imagine me eating anything off a coffee table. We didn’t have a coffee table. But even if we did, Mama and Daddy didn’t think that I would be capable of such a savage act because they thought that I had good manners.

Of course that all changed one Sunday afternoon.

Mama and Daddy had a Sunday afternoon routine where they would buy Pho takeout (Pho is a type of Vietnamese beef noodle) and eat it in front of the television. Most of the time, they would watch reruns of the Munsters. Since we didn’t have a coffee table, Mama and Daddy ate on two matching lazy susans and sat on the floor. While they ate and watched television, I would play with my toys.

One Sunday afternoon, Mama and Daddy decided that they weren’t going to eat Pho that day. Instead, they were going to eat rice with Sardines that Daddy’s Mom got from Macau.


Mama placed the sardine can on one of the lazy susans. While Mama and Daddy were in the kitchen scooping up the rice, I was in the living room licking the oil in the sardine can.

Of course I was really quiet about it. Slurping ever so quietly. When Mama and Daddy realized what happened, all the oil was already gone.

Mama and Daddy laughed.

Daddy said, “boy we are sucky parents. P- didn’t even ask if anybody wanted this before he started eating.”

Mama smiled and laughed some more.

Later, whenever Mama and Daddy are eating by themselves and there is a last piece of food, they would ask each other, “anybody? anybody?”